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 The absolute best source for Q-zar information, strategy, and all-around good taggin' fun. Ham Hocks and It In the beginning, there was darkness: an infinite inky void, filled with ink. There was no time, no beer, no light, no beer, no matter, no beer, and no beer. All of these elements are fine by themselves, but when combined they can make for a very boring plane of existence. This ubiquitous boredom slowly manifested itself into a celestial figure known only as It. It was bored, and was itching to try out It's powers of languor. It soon created time, light, and matter. With these ingredients, The Roger-ous One created a universe full of boredom and sloth. Soon, however, It realized that there was nary a being that could experience boredom and understand it's true depth of inactivity. It used his powers of habitual idleness to create many an intelligent race, but all that beheld It were transformed into ham hocks by his sheer indolence. Eventually It had created two races that were so lazy be nature that they could withstand Its awesome torpor: one was a race of gargantuan reptilian beasts, the other humans. At first the beasts fared better than the humans did. The humans were warm-blooded, and too finicky and prone to tomfoolery. It loved the dinosaurs, and provided nothing but largest bodies and the smallest brains, to make them more lethargic. However, even these beasts became ham hockian in Its quest for sloth, and It abandoned them. Humans were now his only chance for eternal boredom appreciation. "A New Hope" In the shadow of Its recent failure, It let the humans be. It was rather satisfied with the performance of humans, until about the time of the Indus river valley, that is. At about that time (dramatic pause) beer was discovered! Almost immediately the shrouds of boredom were lifted! With the advent of beer, people began to do two things that they are well known for: have fun and fight wars. These two seemingly different pastimes remained separated until (yet another dramatic pause) Q-ZAR was invented! With beer and Q-ZAR now on earth, It was defeated. It was so upset about It's defeat, It binged for the first time. This new substance made the Great Bored One feel that It had a large void in his life, and no will power. Because of Its low feelings and no will, It changed Its name to Will Low and moved to Venice Beach, California. When a Q-ZAR arena opened across the street, Will became infuriated. The exact thing that had ruined his grand designs was right next door to him. He could even hear the techno-dance music from the arena. After a few weeks, Will decided to find out exactly what had been the second factor in his failure. As he entered the arena, he saw none other than... David Spade! "I knew that you were hard up for cash,"shouted Will, "but you didn't have to destroy my pristine world! You shall pay dearly for what you have done! I would like one game please." "That'll be 5.50," said the spadeian "Attention in the lobby..." After the "briefing" , Will was took a green vest and went to energize, but a pot-head was in the way. "Let's take this outside!" said the pot-head as he began to pick a fight with Will. "Your mama!" chuckled a voice behind Will, as a red beam of light flew past him and hit the pot-head square on his front panel. The pot-head tried to get his reflex in, but the figure behind Will managed to double kill him. The pot-head then Od' ed and left to chase white dodge rams in the parking lot.Will turned to thank the figure behind him, who was now dancing jovially. It turned out to be none other than Theo, the jolly lumberjack! "I need a cigarette," mumbled Theo "Billy, can you take my place?" "Be happy to!"said the spadeian. With Billy's help, Will soundly whipped the red team
with a score of 1 to 0. Will swore never to play Q-ZAR
again. Four days later, he bought the company. Hey, Q-Zar is expensive...click here to find out how you can earn some easy money ______________________________________________________________________ This page is not officially endorsed by Q-Zar or any of its respective associates.
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